So for the past few months, I have been unsatisfied with the way my body is looking. Not saying I think I'm obese but I just am not happy with it. I feel it can be better. And I can feel better-- meaning in shape!
I've always been in the gym and what not but never fully fully committed to making a change. But this year I am actually rewarding myself with a vacation to some tropical/summery place. And I'm thinking to myself.... hey self! you are going to have to wear bathing suits majority of the time...and a realization came over me...... I HATEEE BATHING SUITS! because I just don't like how I look in them.
I know a bunch of people would say: "you have low self esteem" "you have some eating disorder" "you are not fat" "its all in your head" etc.
But please hold off on that and let me explain:
All of my life I have been compared to other people, always criticized, and have been forced into competitions based on looks. I hated it with a passion. But unfortunately, it was drilled in my head, and I can't let myself get out of shape.
I used to be so involved in all these sports and was Ripped! literally was made up of muscle (i was still petite but everything was muscularly) and life happened and I had to grow up and get a job, etc. So I haven't been working out at that level anymore.
I just want to get my stamina back and get toned and be able to run a mile without gasping for air like a fish out the water. (I really can't run around the block without dying) I want to feel fit, and not all sludgy or weak.
So I've decided to go on a 30day fitness plan that includes workouts and a diet.
HOLD ON... i know "she said the D word!" don't worry its not the stereotypical diet of starving yourself or eating a piece of lettuce for 3 meals. None of that. I'd fail that miserably-- I LOVE FOOD!
When you make plans like this you have to be careful not to set ridiculous rules like, No fat! just lettuce.. because honestly you will not keep that diet and if anything you will gain more weight! your body needs fat...its a natural process. you just have to watch the INTAKE of fat.
My diet is consisting of counting the protein and carbs in my meals. I will have a certain amount of protein and carbs i must have every meal (3 meals) and I can mix and match what I eat. it can be meats, salads, fruits, etc. just as long as it does not pass the max amount of protein or carbs.
The other half of the plan is working out 5 days a week and resting 2 days. This isn't treadmill workouts (I never exercise like that....running scares me) it's actually weight lifting, cardio, etc. and feeling the BURN!
I am on day 5 of my plan and it has been soooo hard! especially on a college campus. Food is accesible EVERYWHERE and its not the good kind. I've cheated 2x already but have not splurged just had juice or half a cookie. But I am determined to do this. the key to a good body is 90% mind and 10% body. Dieting is more psychological than it is anything else.
You have to control your self and that is the hardest part. But I have been hanging in there.
Here is actually one of my meals I had the other day:
Looks yummy doesn't it? It wasn't actually too bad.
Well we shall see how things go. Wish me luck! I really want to do this.
1. to prove that I can
2. because i would like to feel fit and run a marathon!
Much love & harmony,
B
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